The Kitty Returns & Day 11

Whew! Atticus is home and has survived the 1st day of Mommy giving fluids and meds. Last night I had to force feed home baby food as he refused to eat but this morning I awoke to his purrs in my ear urging me to the kitchen and his bag of food. By the time I was ready to give him his morning meds he had gone back for 3rds. Hungry kitty! He is on a painkiller derived from morphine, I call it 'kitty heroin'. I have a few pics of him stoned out, he looks kinda cute.



He seems to be feeling better, and even came for cuddles on the bed. And he is a purr machine! Even between doses of kitty heroin, lol. Elke (his 1 1/2 year old sister) isn't quite sure what to make of him. She is particularly offened by his smell and I don't blame her. He is a bit of 'dribbler' these days and though he does his best to clean himself he doesn't always get everything. The vet says that this should most likely go away, but there is a small chance he will remain a 'dribbler'. I am happy as long as he remains unblocked! We go to the vet on Monday for another look at his kidneys and to see how or if they have recovered. And to to talk about options if they I haven't. I am scared.



as for it being Day 11, I got a lovely surprise form paperscraps (Mary) with a beautifully altered composition book. I love the sparkly gold 'K'!

12 Days of Christmas DAY 10 & Sad Kitty News

I will start with the sad kitty news so I can close with something happier. I took Atticus to the vet yesterday to discover that his bladder was completely blocked. This often happens with male kitties (and occasionally female ones too), and the risk is that their bladders can back up and cause kidney damage. That, unfortunately, is what happened to my beloved boy. They say I caught it early but that he still had remarkable kidney damage and they are unsure if he will recover. They would like to keep him hospitalized a few more days but I simply can't afford it. So today I pick him up and learn how to give him subcutaneous fluids (meaning under his skin). He also has a raging infection, is in a fair amount of pain, and is refusing to eat. Cats when they don't eat often start using their stored body fat which can lead to a fatty liver which is deadly for kitties. So it looks like I will have to force feed him as well. I am hoping once he is in his home environment he will want to eat. I have quite a job ahead of me and I do it gladly for my sweet boy, but he and I could sure use your prayers if you are the praying type. Many thanks.

In happier news, I opened a fantastic gift from KatieV today! Using her binding machine she made each of us our own ATC holder! Here's mine:

12 Days of Christmas DAY 9 & Kitty News

Day nine brought pure yumminess from art4mysanity (Mireya) in Miami. Not only was the gift fabulous so was the packaging! She made a sweet pendant with beads and charms dangling off of it and the box it came in was altered by collaging stamping and painting! A couple of pics:





In other news, my beloved Atticus is not doing well. Starting yesterday he has been making sounds as if he were vomiting, but nothing is coming up. He also doesn't want to be pet (and he is normally a slut!), he's hiding, and most worrisome is he is growling randomly. Those that believe in prayer please pray for my sweet boy.

Solstice Prayer

I have this idea that every breath we take can be a sacred act, can be a prayer. So today, the Winter Solstice of 2008, I made a painting as a prayer. A prayer of thanks for the lessons and gifts of the past year, and a prayer of hope for the coming year. I had wanted to do a ritual, to celebrate the Solstice, where I would marry my higher self, but the day seemed destined for something different.

It was kind of spur of the moment. I wanted to know if I could make a paper collage, gesso over it lightly and then paint over that in a way where all the layers are present and meaningful. It's def hard to see some of the layers from the scan alone, but when you are in front of the painting, holding it, all of the layers come alive. I am not sure what I will do with the painting, but I have a feeling it will be in my etsy shop at the beginning of the year.

12 Days of Christmas DAY 6, DAY 7, DAY 8

I took a brief pause from posting my 12 Days gifties so I have a little catching up to do! I actually can't show ya'll day 7, because that was my day and so it was the day I opened the gift form the 13th player. I don't want to ruin the surprise for the other members of the swap.

Day 6 was a fabulous set of chunky book covers painted by Corrie! They are really gorgeous. I generally don't put covers on my chunky books so I am going to hang them as pieces of art in their own right.



As I said Day 7 I can't share with you yet, but I can tell you that the gifts I gave were altered cabinet cards. They were so much fun to make, I really enjoyed picking which card to give each person and how to alter it!

Day 8 was a delightful surprise! I received a hand painted canvas of a skull in one of my fave color combos--blue and orange from Original Youth! I also received one of her famous Tip Top Doll ornaments, woot!

Pause

It's funny how decisions we made oh so long ago can come back to haunt us. Recently my ex lover Ryan landed a job work for the county's IT department. Also working there is a man I will call P. P and I were lovers for about a year a few years back. I fell hard for him and his little boy good looks. Unfortunately, he was and still is married--with children. I never thought I would have an affair with a married man but one can never the predict the choices you will make when lust hits you square between the eyes. I last saw P over a year ago though I continue to have sporadic email contact with him. A week or so ago Ryan asked me to go with him to his departments Christmas party. His current girlfriend couldn't go due to her work schedule and he didn't want to go alone. (Sidenote--girlfriend knows and didn't care that Ryan invited me.) After I agreed to go I realized there was a chance P would be there, and if he was there his wife and kids could also be there (this was a family affair type of party). I cracked a few jokes about tormenting him with my presence but I think the joke was on me. I dressed to the 9's and I did take perverse pleasure in the look of sheer terror on P's face when he saw me walk in the door. But then standing a few people behind him in the buffet line he turned and winked at me and I swear I felt my heart breaking like it did when he decided to end our affair. His little boy looks like a miniature version of him and his daughter obviously takes after his wife, who, while no beauty queen, did remind me of Dar Williams. I watched his kids play with the toys Santa gave them and I watched their mother, who came and sat by Ryan and I, watch them with her greedy mother eyes. I think this was all too much for P because I saw him insistently urge his family to leave after a short time. And I am so glad he did leave because I am left feeling melancholy and sad at what once was and what was never a possibility of being. Afterall, during our entire affair I never had delusions of P leaving his wife for me. He was adamant that no matter what he felt for me it wouldn't happen. I thank him for that, for saving me from that delusion. But tonight I am remembering his laugh and the sound of his voice in my ear and the smell left on my skin after being with him and my heart aches.

12 Days of Christmas DAY 5

Oh yum! Today's gift comes from curbsidetreasure (Annie), who is the host of this swap. She is a talented collage artist and used her fab skills to collage a board book for me! It's WONDERFUL!

12 Days of Christmas DAY 4

WOOT! This has been a wonderful present opening day! Egrobeck (Elaine) totally outdid herself with 3 gifts for each participant and all were suited to each persons likes and dislikes. I guess Eileen did some profile reading before starting up! There are several pics today as most gifts are double sided! The 1st gift is an amazing glass slide pendant. Knowing that I love skulls and all thing anatomy related I received a gorgeous pendant on that theme, here's side 1:



And side 2:



Keeping with the skull theme Elaine made me a gorgeous altered CD filled with skulls. I had know idea that those pesky AOL CD's could actual become a thing of beauty. Side 1:



Side 2:



Last but not least is a wonderful altered bamboo tile doll. It is also 2 sided but I was getting lazy with picture taking so only one side is showing:



I am so thrilled with these gifts! How lucky can one girl get? (Don't answer that!)

Presents!

I love presents. LOVELOVELOVELOVELOVE! I love getting them (see the last few posts), I love giving them, and I adore making them! A few posts down I showed a WIP of a painting that I made for the wonderful Laurie, here is the finished piece:



I gave it to her last Sunday and I loved hearing her swoon. She was especially enamored with the little kitty and agreed that it looked like Minou.

For my friends Natalie and Cheeka I went a simpler route. I took store bought, plain wooden hearts and altered them. When I was done gussying them up I drilled holes in then and added a wire hanger. Here is Cheeka's (she is a self-identified jesus freak) sans drilling and hanger:



I love how the crackle paint turned out (an experiment really) and I love how the gold paint seems to be emanating from jesus's head.

For Natalie I went a little darker in both color and theme. Natalie is in to earthy colors and has dark sensibilities about her. Imagine hippy goth only way cool. Here is what I did for her:



The words say: Let the fire of my body propel and warm me and let each darkness reveal it's plentitude. I wish I had said that, but a poets whose name I forget said it.

As this season draws to an end I am thankful for the opportunity I took to make those I love something special. They aren't magnificent gifts, but they are a little piece of me. /cheesiness.

12 Days of Christmas DAY 3

WOOT! Amyfaerie you are a goddess! Amy's gift for us today is a wonderful funky, chunky bracelet. Made with game pieces, buttons, old jewelry and ribbons it is stunning! See for yourselves!

12 Days of Christmas DAY 2

OMG! Debra, AKA goatgoddess, really out did herself with gift #2. I am in love with it! It is a fabric wall hanging. She even downloaded pictures I have of my kitties in my gallery on AFA and used them on it! A picture will explain it much better than I can. Thank you so much Debra!

12 Days of Christmas DAY1

WOOT! Today I opened the 1st gift for the 12 Days of Christmas Swap. It came from Adriayna (Dana) in Indiana. Dana made a wonderful painting of an egg in a birds nest, with her gift she included extra fibers, a bookmark, and handmade papers. Thank you so much, I LOVE all the goodies!

Death

Awhile ago on Suzi Blu's site she held a contest for people to reinterpret a tarot card or make their own oracle card. I decided to go with the Death card. I have always been drawn to this card and to the idea of death and rebirth, to change. I think each and every second we die a little bit and are reborn with new ideas, new thoughts, new experiences. Death to me isn't so scary when I think of it in terms of growth and change. Even our literal death is merely a transformation. After all, we humans are quite simply energy and energy never dies but is transformed continually. I guess this is why I am also drawn to the idea of reincarnation, but that's a whole 'nother topic.

Anyway, I did a little research on the traditional symbols used in the Death card and decided to incorporate them into my card. Aeclectic Tarot is a great site to research tarot meanings and to look at the many different kinds of decks available (I am currently in love with this deck which retails for $75, yikes!). Through this site I found that the death card often has a skeleton type figure representing death walking on a desolate road. Also commonly featured is a sunrise and a child. To me this symbolizes the rebirth and change aspect of this card. I decided to incorporate these 3 symbols but with a Kati twist: Death would be dancing and happy and the child would appear to be happy too. This is what I came up with:



To me this card almost appears joyful, which I think death can be. And apparently it resonated with Suzi Blu as well since she chose my card to be the winner of her contest. Quite frankly I was shocked to win. I know this card is good, i won't hide behind false humility, but so many of the cards sent in were excellent! I was truly astounded at the quality of work that came out of this contest. Watch the video below to see all the cards entered in the contest and you'll see what i mean. Although the contest was over a month ago now the themes that my card represents seem to be weighing on my mind which is i guess why I am sharing this with you now.

Discombobulated

That's how I feel. My head is swirling a little too much and I feel close to drowning yet never so more alive. Sigh. I need out of my head. I need into my body. I need into my spirit. I need into my heart. I feel so many things yet can't tell the truth from the lies.

I have a crush. That sucks cause I know she ain't into me. Yet i knew that nothing would happen between us the moment I laid my eyes on her in The Accident Gallery over 2 years ago. I just can't help thinking she is delicious. I don't think that's my problem anyway. Or at least not entirely my problem. There's something else going on here. It's a mystery. Well, not really. But kinda. I know that my spiritual self is troubled. I want to believe so many things but can't. I know there is a truth bigger than you or I or anything breathing out there but I forgot how to touch it, how to speak to it, how to breathe it.

Anyway, in my search, in my longing, I have been reading books and creating art like a mad fiend. I'll share the art someday, but I'll tell you the books now: 'Something More' by Sarah Ban Breathnach. I don't know where I got this book, it just appeared in my collection not too long ago. I though it would suck, but it didn't. Not entirely anyway. the book is obviously aimed for women in their forties and fifties as if the search for more only becomes apparent then. That assumption annoys me. The other 2 assumptions that annoyed me are: all women are mothers and all women are straight. She talks way too much about getting a man. Not that I don't like men, I do. They are luscious and fab. But so are women. I like to keep my options open in that arena. And the whole kid thing, ugh. To be perfectly honest the only kid I truly like is my niece Thea. But she is pretty exceptional. She is 6 and has a mohawk. Truly. She does. And she is an artist. Takes after Aunt Kati! But other kids I am not so much into. I am good at pretending I like kids, even the kids are fooled. But I don't really like them. They zap my energy. OK, back to the book. Ban Breathnach relies quite heavily on quotes to make her point, but I don't mind that. I now have a sourcebook of kick ass quotes. And the truth is, what she does say about this 'something more' we all search for resonates with me. The other book I just bought. So I can't go dissecting it for you just yet. Titled 'The Red Book' by Sera Beak, it is described as a "deliciously unorthodox approach to igniting your Divine Spark'. Sounds pretty rad to me. I will update you later on whether or not this radness is fact or fiction.

Anyway, so this is where I am at today. Crushed out on someone not interested and spiritually searching. You may think the 2 are unrelated but do not be fooled. I'm not.

They're Here!

The 12 Days of Christmas Swap gifties have arrived! I am drooling over all of the delicious packaging. Our host Annie (also known as curbsidetreasure) was smart enough to include an extra gift that we could all open immediately--that way we are less tempted to open gifts early! She gave us tons of paper ephemera and little bobbles, perfect for this motley crew of altered artists! We don't get to open our 1st gift until Sunday and I have to practically sit on my hands to keep away from the little basket of treasures!

WIP

Taking the mixed media class with Suzi Blu has been a real eye opener for me about my abilities to draw and make art in general. In order to continue practicing and developing my own unique way of making these 'pretty girls' have decided to make paintings for some family and friends.

Currently I am working on a painting for my dear friend Laurie. She is someone that has stuck by me through a lot of BS and I know I can count on her to be steadfast and true. We don't see each other often these days even though she only lives 2 blocks away due to conflicting schedules. She and her husband are planning to move away in a few months to the Bay area and I am dreading it! I wanted to make her something she could take with her that would always remind her of me. The girl in the painting looks nothing like Laurie (although with her ever changing hair color someday it might resemble her a bit more!), but I did make sure to add a silver kitty to represent Minou, Laurie's beloved familiar. The painting is not quite done, I would like to add a few more layers and I need to finish painting her face and clean the piece up a bit. I am also looking for a quote I can stamp on it that would somehow be meaningful to Laurie and our friendship (suggestions welcome!). So here is a look at what I have done so far:

Coming of Age

I was recently commissioned through etsy to create an altered cigar box for a 14 year old girl. I sent out my standard questionnaire but fount that the response didn't help me much. What I learned: she loves soccer, vintage, her dog, her brother and jesus. She also likes green and purple. She did add that she has big blue eyes and brown hair. I decided that rather than take all this info and try to squeeze it onto a box I would instead use her her colors and start with the theme of of coming of age. If I could get some of her other likes in there all the better. I figured that her parents chose to purchase this box from me for a reason so I went with my instinct. Here is the result.

Marianne Williamson is a genius.

Our Deepest Fear
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness
That most frightens us.

We ask ourselves
Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.

Your playing small
Does not serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking
So that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine,
As children do.
We were born to make manifest
The glory of God that is within us.

It's not just in some of us;
It's in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine,
We unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we're liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.

12 Days of Christmas

Yep, it's that time again! I have to admit to loving Christmas for the sheer joy gift giving gives me. It thrills me to know I have given the perfect gift to someone. This year i was invited to join a 12 Days of Christmas Swap hosted by curbsidetreasure at AFA. The pressure was on as this swap was invite only and filled with amazing artists. The goal of the swap? To give and get a gift a day from Dec. 14 to Dec. 26. How does it work you ask? Each participant (13 of us so you can open a gift on your day) were asked to pick a day, mine is day 7, 12/20/08 we were also asked to create 12 handmade gifts for the other participants and wrap them beautifully. The gifts are then sent to curbsidetreasure who distributes them to each artist. From 12/14-12/26 we open 1 gift each day. On the 7thday the other artists in the group will open my gift which is an ________ ___________ ___________ (I'll spill the beans after the gifts have been opened!). We were each given clues as to each artists preference so we could make gifts specifically for them, or we could make the gifts all the same. What I did, as well as most of the other artists, was to make the same type of item but personalize it with the artists favorite color. My gifts have officially landed at our hosts home and any day now she will be mailing a huge package to me! Woot! Here is a sneak peack at my wrapped gifties:

Strength!

You are Strength

Courage, strength, fortitude. Power not arrested in the act of judgement, but passing on to further action, sometimes obstinacy.

This is a card of courage and energy. It represents both the Lion's hot, roaring energy, and the Maiden's steadfast will. The innocent Maiden is unafraid, undaunted, and indomitable. In some cards she opens the lion's mouth, in others she shuts it. Either way, she proves that inner strength is more powerful than raw physical strength. That forces can be controlled and used to score a victory is very close to the message of the Chariot, which might be why, in some decks, it is Justice that is card 8 instead of Strength. With strength you can control not only the situation, but yourself. It is a card about anger and impulse management, about creative answers, leadership and maintaining one's personal honor. It can also stand for a steadfast friend.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

I have this weird hangup, one that doesnt really make sense--although I am in love with the work of some incredible collage artists I feel, on some level (for MYSELF) that to be a true artist I must be able to draw. First off, what the fuck is a true artist? How did I get that nonsense into my head? Secondly, why drawing? Why is that the TRUE for of art and collage or photography or mixed media not? See? I am kinda nuts.

BUT, going along with this strange supposition I have enrolled myself in Suzi Blu's Mixed Media Les Petite Dolls class (yes, she's the zany but adorable woman who makes out with her dog on youtube--also a GREAT artist!). I will be the first to admit the idea of learning to draw online is kinda silly, but the class works for me. Suzi makes videos of her lessons, I download them and watch at my leisure. She gives homework and there is a support network on her site to get help from.

I am posting a couple of pics of stuff I have drawn after a couple of lessons. Believe me, this class has not made me into a genius drawer, but my fear of drawing has lessened dramatically. I have even signed up for a drawing swap on atcsforall.com. This is HUGE for me! Anyway, here's to doing the hard and challenging thing...

Art for Me: Altered Book

I am one of those that rarely makes art for herself. Yes, I make art daily, but it always lands in the hands of others. While I enjoy mail art, trading and collecting etc, I have recently begun to feel a burnout heading my way. I think this is due, in part at least, to always giving away art that I have poured my love into, that I have bled for, that I have denied sleep for to other people. So to rectify this I have begun altering a book. It will be part art exhibit for me and part journal. The book is hardbound and entitled "The Middle Sister", which is quite appropriate as I am the middle sister (one of two) in my family. So here are a couple of spreads to feast your eyes on. Feedback--of the courteous kind--is welcome.

Gimme Your Stuff!

Heard of the Gimme Your stuff blog yet? I hadn't either until I stumbled upon it today! What a great idea and I am so down to play!

What I want:
Art supplies (fun paper, cool trinkets, etc)
Collage Materials (magazines, photos, whatever)
paperback books in foreign languages
fibers
candy
rusty bits and bobs
ATC's

What I got:
English paperback books
US candy
Mixed CD's
Art Materials
ATC's
almost anything from the west coast of the US, just ask!

I am excited to see where this goes!

Affirmation ATC's!

It's time to host another swap at ATC's For All! This time, instead of focusing on the dark, I am focusing on the light with a swap about affirmations. Called And Gosh Darn It, People Like Me! An Affirmation Swap, the purpose of the swap is to bring positive and uplifting thoughts into our lives.

How often are you mired down in negative thoughts about your self, your art, your family life? These negative thoughts can become ingrained into who we are and what we believe about ourselves and the world if we are not careful. The purpose of this swap is to make cards that affirm the positives in our lives and give us something to focus on when everything is in a tailspin.

The above is quoted from the actual swap post. If interested in joining click the above link and it will take you directly to the swap. Swap is only for 20 folks so sign up now! (You must be a member of ATC's for All to join, but registration is free, easy, and painless!)